When it comes to trusting people, we tend to overlook the thin line drawn between paranoia and instinct. We sometimes tend to exaggerate problems by being paranoid, and that is completely natural. I am paranoid about a lot of things, too. Acrophobia has got a crush on me ever since I was a kid. Standing at the edge of a balcony of a high storied building gives me the heebie-jeebies. Probably since the day I accidentally bounced down the staircase and got a few stitches and spiked up my paranoia. Back to the tangent, my instincts have hardly let me down. It can sometimes even give a tiny premonition which looks promising. And interestingly, its forte happens to be people and trust.
I read this funny saying somewhere
"Considering the rate at which people keep changing. I really wonder if humans evolved from chameleons" - (???)
(Trust me, the above picture is actually two painted humans :P)
I am just curious. Do people really change? Or is it just our perspectives? You cannot study people like you study a biological specimen, and label all their traits with pointed arrows and fancy names. Probably, you never got the opportunity to acquaint with that side of them? I have a handful of friends whom I can count on and cherish. But a lot of clouds have passed by. I have had my days with people with whom I used to feel "this one's gonna be around till the end, for sure", but I was wrong. No fights, no violence, no abuses. They all just slowly morph into the distance, like an airplane that you used to keep your eye on, till they disappeared into the clouds and go out of sight.
They move on, you move on too. Your instinct always gives you the sign from the early stages. (Obviously nobody disappears in the bat of an eyelid ;) ) Our instincts help us cope up but many a time, it is hard to let go. Cribbing sometimes feels comfortable. You sit there, whine and retch, bringing out everything from the past. Is it a natural inability to detach and move on quickly? Do you still believe that there people who can shrug off and dance to the "ketchup song" the next moment?
You sit with memories that make you pine for the lost ones,and/or the ones who are still around, somewhere- Moving on, deliberately out of reach. Keeping things simple, we all know that we have two choices - either talk to them or let go and get over it. Sometimes talking to them and hearing the indifference is unbearable, and the urge to ask "Why are you talking to me like THIS? What wrong did I do? How can I fix it?" can never be suppressed. You secretly wish they just turn up at your doorstep one day, and everything resumes to the last savepoint when it all fell apart or faded away. Haven't we all wished for a time machine atleast once? I have had my own share of ploughing the past with my mind screaming "Let go!!!!" loudly. Again, Is it really easy to let go and move on? (the ketchup song involuntarily plays in the background)
(I couldn't help posting this here)
Catharsis helps. Acceptance kicks in. You stifle the gorge of thoughts with the assumption and feel "maybe.. Just maybe.. The world has decided to move on from cherishing people around us to just staying connected to them". We learn to never anchor on to anyone. Detach,let go and find peace in yourself.(takes a deep breath) Well that's what people say. Proverbs say. Instincts say. It is just that the mind sometimes is a bit tenacious to embrace this truth.
