Penning down a gorge of thoughts

When it comes to trusting people, we tend to overlook the thin line drawn between paranoia and instinct. We sometimes tend to exaggerate problems by being paranoid, and that is completely natural. I am paranoid about a lot of things, too. Acrophobia has got a crush on me ever since I was a kid. Standing at the edge of a balcony of a high storied building gives me the heebie-jeebies. Probably since the day I accidentally bounced down the staircase and got a few stitches and spiked up my paranoia. Back to the tangent, my instincts have hardly let me down. It can sometimes even give a tiny premonition which looks promising. And interestingly, its forte happens to be people and trust.  

I read this funny saying somewhere  
"Considering the rate at which people keep changing. I really wonder if humans evolved from chameleons"  - (???)

(Trust me, the above picture is  actually two painted humans :P)

I am just curious. Do people really change? Or is it just our perspectives? You cannot study people like you study a biological specimen, and label all their traits with pointed arrows and fancy names. Probably, you never got the opportunity to acquaint with that side of them? I have a handful of friends whom I can count on and cherish. But a lot of clouds have passed by. I have had my days with people with whom I used to feel "this one's gonna be around till the end, for sure", but I was wrong. No fights, no violence, no abuses. They all just slowly morph into the distance, like an airplane that you used to keep your eye on, till they disappeared into the clouds and go out of sight. 

They move on, you move on too. Your instinct always gives you the sign from the early stages. (Obviously nobody disappears in the bat of an eyelid ;) ) Our instincts help us cope up but many a time, it is hard to let go. Cribbing sometimes feels comfortable. You sit there, whine and retch, bringing out everything from the past.  Is it a natural inability to detach and move on quickly? Do you still believe that there people who can shrug off and dance to the "ketchup song"  the next moment?

You sit with memories that make you pine for the lost ones,and/or the ones who are still around, somewhere- Moving on, deliberately out of reach. Keeping things simple, we all know that we have two choices - either talk to them or let go and get over it. Sometimes talking to them and hearing the indifference is unbearable, and the urge to ask "Why are you talking to me like THIS? What wrong did I do? How can I fix it?" can never be suppressed. You secretly wish they just turn up at your doorstep one day, and everything resumes to the last savepoint when it all fell apart or faded away. Haven't we all wished for a time machine atleast once? I have had my own share of ploughing the past with my mind screaming "Let go!!!!" loudly. Again, Is it really easy to let go and move on? (the ketchup song involuntarily plays in the background) 

(I couldn't help posting this here)

Catharsis helps. Acceptance kicks in. You stifle the gorge of thoughts with the assumption and feel  "maybe..  Just maybe.. The world has decided to move on  from cherishing people around us to just staying connected to them".  We learn to never anchor on to anyone. Detach,let go and find peace in yourself.(takes a deep breath) Well that's what people say. Proverbs say. Instincts say. It is just that the mind sometimes is a bit tenacious to embrace this truth.

My favorite lessons of life - Part 2

                                 TRUSTING TIME-TESTED TRUTHS

There are plethora of proverbs and motivational sayings out there that always energize us and set us afoot. Among many, these are the few sayings and lessons that have impacted me the most; that I wholly trust. This can be considered a light prequel to my previous article where I wrote about coping with uncertainty and tough blind curves, but before uncertainty and expectation, there are a few prerequisites that come in handy.

Pour your soul into whatever you do

“Loving whatever I do” comes first before “Doing what I love” to me. It is not about compromise, but commitment. I realized that everything we do, has a life on its own. Any work that you take up and do, has an energy on its own. The more you connect to it, the more you put your heart and soul in it, the more it connects with you. If you have watched the movie Avatar, you can visualize this as a Tsaheylu between you and the work you do. Once the bond is established between you and whatever you do, it pays off. Any task that is done with love and soul will never go to waste. 

If bouquets entice you, brickbats enlighten you.

Constructive criticism is always a ladder that helps you grow but it is not always certain that it comes the benevolent way. There might be instances where you cannot tell a critic from a mocker. Mockery and deliberate discouraging need not be tossed around, but watch out for any slightest hint of truth in them. If you get the feeling that they have a point, grab it. 

There can be instances where you get offended by misanthropes but remember, they fuel your motivation without even them realizing it. Also, catching a brickbat right will earn more bouquets.

There are no “Overnight results”

To me, overnight results and understanding algebra in the first attempt are in the same scale. They seldom happen ;) If you are lucky* enough to get it, then thank god and probability for the halo around your head. If you are the average human being without halos or wings or anything, then wait. Everything you get after the wait is worth it. And believe me, this proverb works:

“When you REALLY want something, all the universe conspires in helping you achieve it”

This really works. 

And when you get what you want, don’t stop

Wait, wait, wait. I am not talking about wanting more or being greedy. I am talking about doing justice to what has been given to you. God and the universe has given you what you wanted and what you have always been dreaming for. Rejoice, celebrate and most importantly, remember to cherish. Once you've embarked on the dream that you wished for, it is okay to go overboard and fly and even try the “Titanic” pose but don’t fall off. :) Hold on tightly to what you have been given. 

Learn to give, and grow

You can learn a lot of things from other experienced people in your life and sometimes be even lucky enough to get apostles!!(Yes, I am lucky to have got a few :) ) They are godsends and teach you a lot of valuable lessons in your life. Learn from them and be open to exploring new things. Having an open mind can take you to beautiful heights. As you feel you’re growing and reaching new heights, make sure you pull others up too. Impart them the knowledge that you gained, and even if they don’t reward you, Karma will. Giving is directly proportional to growing.

Faith -  For The Win

There’s a nitro boost to all the lessons that you learn and try to follow in life. Say, an easier way to get what we want in life. After you feel you’ve done what it takes to get what you want, do the faith-walk and see what happens. Fuel you faith well, and watch all the wonderful miracles that follow.

And topping it all off, this fact always gives me goose bumps because of the level of infallible precision involved - “If God brings you to it, he will bring you through it.

My favorite lessons of life - part 1

                                           COPING UP WITH UNCERTAINTY 

Everyone goes through this phase in our lives where uncertainty pulls us round a blind curve.You  realize that you are pulled away from your comfort zone which you long for. There's this time when contingency plans are too hard to digest, and expectancies seem farfetched. The time when life puts you to its reputed test - pulling your strings on patience, determination and most importantly : ACCEPTANCE.

You have fullest control of your actions, though surrounded by positive forces that shine their lights on various unknown tunnels. In the end of the day, it is just you who is going to make the move.
It is like bungee jumping on a rope that you have faith on; with you being the bungee jumper, and a lot of other powerful positive forces above and around you being your backup.

Coping with some situations, I learned a few lessons and consider them my favorite lessons of life learned so far, backed by personal evidence.

1. Learning to stop smothering your goal -  Do not mistake me. I believe having a strong grip on your desires and having it all the time on the back of your mind helps you  steer towards that. Desires DO manifest. Visualize that your goal is a diamond that you have in hand, and a very sharp one that can cut through your palms if held on too tightly. If you get obsessed waiting for something uncertain and desirable to happen, learn to respect probability* and be prepared to accept. Focus, and feel free. If the diamond is yours, it will stay in your palms forever. If someone takes it away from you, or you drop it, don't worry. Something else is on its way.

2. Learning to let go  - This is the biggest lesson that I have learned in my life so far. Ever since childhood, we all have had inanimate possessions that we find it really hard to part with. Be it our videogame console, or our school classroom or our old school, itself. Be open for changes. Trust me, I have been in situations that proved me this. I have relocated to new places and acquainted with new people, with a dreaded and skeptical notion and have turned out to be one of the best things that happened in my life. Life surely takes us to all the beautiful places that we desire, that we deserve, that we can digest. God knows where to anchor you, safely. SO no need to fidget, sit back, fulfill your responsibilities and watch everything fall in place.

3.Do your homework - If everything happens because of a force that is above and around us, what choice do we have? Is some question which always piped up in my mind, and I suppressed it with the same analogy. "To jump or not is your decision. The parachute is always there with you." That is your freewill. That is your call. Do what it takes to reach there. It is always okay to be prepared with contingency plans, but let that not be so concretely planned. Have hope and do everything that you can to achieve what you want. Do whatever it takes to get there. Propel and then let it steer.

4.It can be fixed - When it comes to times when you have to make tough so-called-life-changing decisions in your life, remember. Everything can be fixed. EVERYTHING. It cannot be rolled back or undone, but definitely can be fixed. When we go through tough times after we choose a path, it is pretty natural to fret and blame the decision that we made and ended up here, though our rational senses clearly know that the other path could have been worse too! There's no cakewalk or gauntlets in life. It is the way we look at it. And if you fall, you can pick yourself up. If you fail, you can fix it. Give it a shot. It is completely possible to manipulate the future, so don't fret if something slips.

5.Undiluted patience -  Hope is directly proportional to patience. When we wait for something, our patience slowly runs out, taking hope with it, and at one point you are left hopeless. Do not let that happen. It is difficult but definitely have faith in yourself and keep up your high hopes. If you don't trust yourself, who else would?

6.It is your life - When positive forces above and around you surely have a good impact on your path, the negative ones play their parts too. Belittling, Denial, Rejection, Dismissal, Pessimism, Disparagement, all poke their head out of the blue occasionally. Bat them out of your way. Remember, only people who mean to you deserve attention in your life. Do not pay heed to the pessimists. If someone who means a lot to you does that, reevaluate them. Be open for constructive criticism but if someone tells you "You can't do that" do not falter. It is your life.

7. Pays off - One day when you look back to all the grey areas in your life, you will feel proud that you survived it. You will be proud of your glorious reestablishment. The tough lessons carve you. You are what you are now because of the lessons that you learned. Its all a  part of the big bountiful parcel that you are about to be endowed with. Again, wait and watch.The wait will be worth the prize.

8.Surround yourself with positivity - We all are blessed with wonderful people in our life who care about our well being and pray for us. Positivity and motivation matters. A lot. It keeps you going. Positive people steer you through bad days easily, and make your life worth living. This is my biggest and my favorite lesson of life.

Afterword : Be nice to people, love everyone unconditionally, Hope for the best and Trust yourself.
Everything will be okay. That is how it is destined to be.
That is the universal law of nature and stood the test of time.

:)