Following these rules, you can be famous. Don't ask me if people will love you. All you need is worldwide attention and you'll get more than what you wanted. Just bear the following tips in mind:-
Rule #1.all you need is looks.
Talent is the last thing you need to become famous. It doesn’t matter if you don’t know what music is or all you sang were choruses in the high school choir. (In the last row, part of the audience)
Neither does it matter if your voice is mistaken for bodily noises at times. Autotune is there to help you out!! So, If you can look alluring, your first checkbox is filled. Get going!
Rule #2. Don’t give up on making music!
If you start getting recognition, there are possibilities of you getting whacked by the audience. But you have to keep going. This may even result in potential injuries by the audience during your concert. Example: Water bottles, shoes,tomatoes etc. Know how to bat them out of your way.
Rule #3. Keep your music video as irrelevant as possible.
The more weird and offbase it is, the more views you get on youtube and consequently earn fame. Creativity is not a big deal. When the press asks you what you mean, just say "Its has deep meanings". The story will be cooked up automatically.
Example: if you prepare a romantic track, shoot a video of two army men with guns, a street brawl or a yard sale. You are bound to succeed!
Rule #4. Gibberish please
Make sure the audience don’t understand your lyrics.
Use plenty of meaningless absurd words. You needn’t be a poet to write songs, even if you are one, it doesn’t count.
Say your song goes on like “baby!! Yeahhhh!! Oohhhh….blah blah blah” then cheers.
Sing songs about months of the year, days in a week, and multiplication tables in a disturbing falsetto.Use Pig Latin phrases in your songs.Cheers!
Rule #5 .Get controversial
Try criticizing other famous pop artists, celebrities and their personal issues and rumors in your work.
Rap about their private controversies, satirize them. Sounds scary, but you’d become famous in no time. But WARNING: there are chances for the artist( whom you blast in your album) to sue you.
Even if he does, no problem! You’ve got plenty of friends out there, who are sailing on the same boat. But don’t offend them to the extent where they get extremely affronted and arrange a bunch of underworld thugs to finish you off..why lose a life?
Rule #6. look weird, look wonderful
Try setting up some unique style for yourself. wear costumes made from gunny bags or polythene covers. Try a porcupine hairstyle and color it with violet, cyan,red and other tacky dyes.
if you are a female artiste, try wearing outfits made from bones,flesh, shoes, paper cups, and other trash.(much better if looks shabby and nauseating). Get counseling from Lady gaga.
Rule #7: help yourself
Try getting as much publicity as you can by self humiliation. Slap a photographer, shoplift, swear at the press, work out a deliberate wardrobe malfunction.. The more verbal abuse you hurl
at the press, the more columns they'd dedicate for you in their slick. Controversy works!
Rule #8: Be economical with the truth
LIE.Spin tales and fibs wherever you go. if you're booked for an interview, prepare your lies beforehand. Tell tales about how bad your childhood was,you've been too poor and
you've had nothing to eat but grass and horse hay.Shed a few crocodile tears. Sympathy works!! Give your audience an unused mail id and enthuse them by telling that you stay online 24x7 and they can mail or contact you anytime.
They won't care if you don't reply them in a lifetime, but they would think its so nice of you to disclose your personal mail id.
Rule #9: love thy haters
this is a very very important rule. never avenge your haters, because there are more haters out there, who waste their time watching your videos and pressing the dislike bar everyday on YouTube, for no apparent reason.
you may never even know who they are and why they hate you more than their live enemies. and never ever make an abusive public statement about haters!
Rule #10: patience!!
Don't expect results overnight! it may take a few days, weeks, months or even a lifetime for you to get eminence! be patient! You've got an entire lifetime to wait, and even more, if you believe in
afterlife! (depends on your luck) so, hang on there, for its a small world, and you will somehow gain attention, even if you don't really deserve it!
